2005-04-20 - 6:42 p.m.
This diary is closed. But just a quick explanation if it even matters -
This diary was being used to vent. Only to vent. I made a promise to someone and kept it. When things were over and I had a hard time with that I had no one to talk to about it, because I kept my promise. I talked a lot of bullshit here because I needed to vent. This diary was also locked to keep the whole ugliness of what happened to me, my self loathing and deep shame over what happened, blaming where blame shouldn't have been put to try and save what little respect I had left for myself. If I cursed someone's name it was out of anger of myself. It was easier to tell him to fuck off here than to tell myself to fuck off. That probably makes no sense to anyone but me. But that's the way it was. When the diaryland server crashed a few weeks ago, the password protection was lost and I found this diary wide open. I'm sorry if this was found as I suspect the people I wrote about here have read everything.
I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to hurt or anger anyone by anything I've written here and don't blame anyone for hating me over this.
